Jelly Beans

As a child, my dad always seemed to bring home jellied orange slices, candy “peanuts” and jelly beans, especially on Sundays. It was part of the ensemble of food that we ate while watching Westerns on television every Sunday.

            Our family ritual did not usually entail going to church, but it did involve watching Westerns: Gunsmoke, Big Valley, and The Rifleman. Bonanza, The Virginian, and Daniel Boone. Willd, Wild West, and High Chaparral just to name a few. Feasts of homemade guacamole, onion, and bean dip were served with chips, jalapeño peppers, candy, and no matter what – soda! As my grown children read this, they are undoubtedly calling me a hypocrite. I have studied and preached the negative effects of excessive television, candy, and soda. I only drink a soda about once a month – if that. However, we have spent quality time watching movies together. We own quite a library, along with several complete series.

            I think Dad thought that we, too, savored those types of candy. I only pretended in order to protect his feelings. As an adult, of the three choices of candy, I only prefer candy “peanuts” and they need to be stale. As a child, I felt it was my responsibility to protect Dad’s feelings. This came from Christmas 1970 in Longmont, Colorado. He bought me a doll that did not come with extra clothes. We did not have a lot of money. Dad gave me this doll the night before Christmas Eve.

            When Dad arrived with the doll, I was singing the song, I Heard The Bells on Christmas Day in my little upstairs room at 720 Hover Road. The picture depicted in the songbook intrigued me for some unknown reason. To this day I cannot hear that song without thinking of that moment when I hurt my dad’s feelings for just being nice. The song brings a sense of bitter sweetness to the melody.

            My dad had a saying that he would use whenever he was trying to get a point across. He usually said this when he was in a good mood. When I would hear him say, “Ya know what I mean, Jelly Bean,” I knew that things were ok.

            When I grew up I served a mission for the LDS Church in South Carolina. There was a company that produced gourmet jelly beans. The jelly beans came in every imaginable variety and colors to match. The flavors included green jalapeño peppers. The green candy was the same color as green apple. One could easily be confused. I often sent people green jelly beans that included both flavors as gifts of affection. When they bit into the jalapeno, their mouth had the tingly sensation of spicey, hot peppers. Their face had the look of shock, disbelief, and revenge! I do not know what kind of face my dad gave since he was in Southern California and I in South Carolina. I was asked a couple of times to stop. I stopped in February 1987 when I went back home. I do not think in all of this time that I have given him jelly beans since. When Father’s Day of 2008 arrived, I wanted to give him something with a memory attached. Hmmm…Ya know what I mean, Jelly Bean?

Kelli McDonald, 6/08/2008, revised 6/03/2012